Drama and optimism go hand in hand

OOOOOOOOH-KEY-DOE-KEY

Today's post is a kind of...interesting one, if you may.

Drama.

Everyone has it.

Whether it be an angry teenager, or a tiny little fish getting heated up over not getting food because the bigger fish would've eaten him if he'd tried to eat.

Everybody in some way has it.

But me?

I have a case of mildodramitica

aka

no life.

Great life, don't you think?

I don't have to deal with all the people or the crying.

HAH!

I MISS THAT STUFF.

If fuels the everyday teenager.

But as I grow older, I'll miss it even more.

Maybe.

I'm wonderful at avoiding it.

Nobody can avoid drama like I can.

And then there are some people who just attract it.

And that's where I come in.

Me, being the "certified pschyologist" I am,

I help people.

I help them happy because I'm an optomist.

People say I laugh too much or talk too much but hey,

that's just who I am.

I'm too nice to people to be able to start drama.

I'm too prude to have much guy drama.

I'm too afraid to make people mad.

So basically,

I fail at teenage life.

People are fragile beings.

Make them upset and you get a life of regret.

Make them happy and people will love you.

That's just how things are.

But anyway, me wanting drama means that someone's going to be hurt.

And frankly, I don't very much like that.

Several of my friends are so sensitive that they cry over the most hilarious drama.

Mainly over guys.

I think there's something wrong with my heart.

I don't cry over guys.

I don't cry over many things because I was raised tough.

I was abused and unloved.

I was depressed and wanted to die at one point.

Where I lived, we couldn't afford many things, so I just dealt with not being able to do something.

My dad was busy raising three girls by himself while going to college and working.

He didn't cry.

So why should I?

Drama just doesn't hit me the way it does to others.

And if you call me heartless, well, I won't very much mind.

And drama?

Yeah, I still miss it but what good would it do me?

Not very much.

That's why being an optimist really helps :)

So in the end, my drama is your drama, I live your drama, I have none to live for myself,

and thanks for reading this.

Sorry I haven't been able to post.

Laziness and jelly beans have been occupying my life lately haha.

Oh and school's out :D

Are they PAID?

i find it pretty hilarious that some of those stupid "5 MINUTES TO REPOST" bulletins are a bunch of crap.

you may be thinking, "But why Jen? If it's on the internet, it HAS to be true!!"

XDsee, i just read one of those.

i like reading bulletins. only because i have nothing better to do in my life but read them.

Well, in it, it said that one person, ONE PERSON

, in the world is thinking about me before they go to sleep and how much they love me and all that bull.

only thing i don't get is why i haven't yet.

i haven't taken the initiative to do..... well anything really.

not in school, not in life, not in band,not in volleyball, you get what I'm saying, right?

How about some numbers?

1)my love life is way nonexistent 2)i have no life, therefore i have no love life 3)srsly?!?!?!?

Who would think about this fat ass? some lamespice person whoever that may be if there even is someone 4)i'm pathetic. 5)i'm pathetic but not willing to be a whore

6)lately, the guys i've been liking have had brown hair and blue eyes...but i used to like blondes....strange.

7)but like, there have been instances where i could've gone out with a guy only thing is that well.....i just didn't like them.

i'm such a picky person texas........i don't like you.

never have, never will.

i should be in hawaii where i belong.

heck, i shouldn't have even left this place in the first place.

the longest time i've been in one school was 2.5years. AWKWARD STAGE. i've been in this awkward stage for years now ever since i left encino park that place was the best. anyway, no guy has ever liked me witho

uforce people to do that.

maybe one of my friends pays them some money just to act like they do at least it makes sense actually, it makes perfect sense.

a guy liking ME?!

HAH!!!!

ARE YOU INSANE!!!???!?!

why, yes you are. maybe money sometimes isn't enough.

who knows anymore. my self esteem is just at .1% and so is my self confidence

yay jen.

Oh my dear friends...

Old Blog, New Place: My oh my it's been a while hasn't it? Well, nothing has happened. Literally, every single day has been the exact same and that's kind of boring me. Can't wait to leave this horrid place. Ok well, I had something in my head but, it left. D: Uhm, so, I wanted to talk about names. Yes, names. So, let's say that you just arrived at school the first day. New people, old people, the whole enchilada. You sit down in a new classroom next to new students. You make small talk with them and you learn their names, etc. Well, the next day, you forgot their name, but they remembered yours. How does that feel? It sucks. You walk into class, see the people you just met the previous day, and you don't approach them. You're too afraid to talk to them because you forgot their names. But they call you by your name and it's like something weird has happened. Guilt, I guess, for not knowing their names. Makes me wonder how teachers remember things like that. So, I've always pondered the thought that maybe you're too caught up with either being popular or talking to new people like crazy that your brain can't handle things like that. You never know. And along with not remembering their names, you just altogether stop talking to them. It makes them feel useless because it was a chance to make a new friend. Frankly, I have no real clue what I'm talking about here but go along with it. It makes me feel better. SOOOOOOOO, that thought has been stuck in my head for days and days and just wouldn't leave it unless it was typed. Yeah, I know, strange woman, blah blah blah. That's all I have to say for now I guess :P

New Blog, New Place: I love my friends so much. So much, in fact I apparently have three more sisters than from my birthmother. But you know what? It's alright. Because without them, my life would be so boring and pointless, I wouldn't be alive by now. My "sisters" are the ones who can deal with the crap I throw at them (SO not a monkey) and somehow make me feel a lot better than I ever had in the first place. Usually it's just life itself that kills me and my head. Apparently they can make sense of my life better than even I can. But isn't that just the point of having fraternal twins and sisters? Ever since I've moved here, I've been in the best emotional condition I have since third grade. 5 years later and voila! You have a fresh, new, eccentric Jen. People back in Hawaii just never seemed to like me. In third grade, they all seemed to be able to take in my oddness and turn it into something different. Everybody loved me then. And now, people love me, just the same. But never in my wildest dreams would I ever think that I'd find a friend so nice, so confusing, so helpful, and so in general loveable. Actually there are two of those ladies in my life. They have their problems and so do I. We help each other sort them out and make it out alive. No better feeling than the feeling of having someone there with a giant net underneath you when you fall. In reality, it was my friends that kept me alive. That and church. God is someone whom I don't take lightly. He literally saved me and for that, I give him my everlasting love and faith. I see kids at my school who don't even believe in him and think that God is just a tale. I'm not there to change their feelings but honestly, if they found God, they'd realize how much better life could be. You'd see me at my happiest when I go to church. Maybe there should be more believers because without him, I wouldn't be writing this very blog. I'd be laying in a casket decaying with some sort of self-inflicted wound causing death. I've experienced a friends suicide and it isn't happy. My friend committing suicide was the worst thing that could've happened to me, my family, his family, and most importantly, my sister. She and he dated and were very well off together. He was a great guy, he was never mean to me, he was just the sweetest. And then my sister ends up crying on the couch saying that James had died. You wanna know the first thing I did? Ran outside on the balcony and called my friend. She really made my day and she probably thinks that she had to. But she didn't have to. And for that, I thank you Angelica, for making me the happiest I've been in years and my dad forgot :). So as you can see from this very blog, my life was a mess cleaned up by a swiffer mop or duster. Idk. We all have our bumpy times, why not try to repave the road? And the only way to heal is to hit where it hurts or else you won't know how badly you're doing. Thanks for reading,

♥ Jen.

Jen,

Here are some of my favorite quotes:

"You were born an original, don't die a copy." (John Mason)

"The cure for boredom is curiosity, there is no cure for curiosity." (Ellen Parr)

"when i first saw you, i was afraid to meet you.
when i first met you, i was afraid to hold you.
when i first held you, i was afraid to kiss you.
when i first kissed you, i was afraid to love you.
... and now that i love you, I'm afraid of the thought of losing you..." (Unknown)

"Inspiration and genius--one and the same." (Victor Hugo)

"Let thy words be few." (Ecclesiasties 5:2)

"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing." (Helen Keller)

"The boundaries which divide life from death
are at best shadowy and vague.
Who shall say where one ends,
and the other begins?" (Edgar Allen Poe)

Aren't those just some awesome quotes?

Well, here's today's entry:

EVERYONE'S CHANGING!!!! Or at least most people are. Some people are just too awesome to change for other people because they like who they really are and don't wanna impress others. Isn't being yourself more important than wearing Hollister or Abercrombie and Fitch trying to just impress others? Guess that's why I'm different? I listen to rock. Whether it be hardcore or punk, I love it all. People feel the immediate feeling that being yourself at home and "yourself" outside of home are the same thing. So what if you are? I know that impressing people really does mean you want to be accepted. Acceptance is just a natural feeling. Until it just takes over. I mean, my step mother, she wears so much make up and does so much crap to her face that she looks about 30... she's 41. She obviously feels the need to impress people. She can open up her own Sephora with the amount of makeup she has in her bathroom. It's sad. Sometimes, I just feel the need to slap people when they're acting retarded on purpose!!! Keyword: acting. If you are really smart, why not show it? Or if you really are smart, why hide it? Both are just faahhnnn. But you see, you only end up looking like more of an idiot than you intended to. Pathetic. Oh well.

I hope you had a great weekend!!!

♥Jen

Houston.......Not Boston.....

I'm here in Houston. It totally SUCKS donut holes.

Nothing is more torturous than being stuck in a tiny house, with people you don't even wanna be near. It is so not hilarious dude.

Well, anyway, I just want to let you know that I'm going to be starting something called, "Oh My Dear Friend" where basically, I just talk about my friends' problems because. frankly, mine aren't exciting enough ha ha ha.

So anyway, have you heard of Taylena? Or RobStew?

Yeah, I just said RobStew and Taylena.

Well anyway, I think that this whole combining-names-for-couples is odd.

I mean, if it really were like that, why don't they just change their last name?

For instance: Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise.

TomKat.

Katie Tomkat.

It's genius, I know.

Okay so off to Taylor Lautner and Selena Gomez!!!

I mean look

They. Were. Made. For. Each. Other.

And I really don't very much like Disney, so, this is amaaaazing.

And of course, the ever famous Robsten or Robstew or Krattz idk.

Oh. yes. Told. YOU!

So yeah, we should totally like, come up for a permanent name for the two.

This whole 37459128374902387490 names for a couple isn't cutting it.

And People Magazine NEEDS to get a hold on all the gossip.

Srsly.

Anyway, I'm still at my step aunt's house.

I HATE IT HERE.

Only here for the clothes....only here for the clothes.

Let's just see if I can last that long.

Please pray for me :)

S.O.S

(Save Our Souls)

Or would it be S.M.S?

(Save My Soul)

Haha who knows.

Laterz

KStew's Attack..

Ok so she isn't really ATTACKING people or getting physically attacked but people still have this... this kind of dislike towards her. See, the thing I don't get is why.

1) KStew=one of the smartest actresses of our generation.

She really tries to connect with her character.

If you haven't seen The Cake Eaters, your ideological thoughts about her will change.

Not to mention that in her interviews, she uses words that I have to take out the Webster's dictionary for. That's pretty dang smart.

2) She isn't Bella.

Let me say that again so you understand where I'm coming from

SHE IS NOT BELLA SWAN.

But she does act as her very well.

Don't you dare say that she doesn't look like the Bella you imagined.

3) Give her some props.

LYK SRSLY.

She's 19 years ol' and HOW MANY MOVIES HAS SHE DONE?

18 soon to be 22.

And she's definitely given her all throughout her acting career and it's really hard not to envy her and her awesomespice acting skills.

4) Lucky doesn't even begin to explain it.

YES ALREADY, SHE GETS TO KISS RPATTZ.

Ahh, how much I do wish I was her.

Getting to kiss my Hunky McHunkerwitz.

But anyway, how CUTE do these two "lovebirds" look together?

too. cute.

Instead of...thiisss guy...

Ugh. Can't stress the word AWKWARD enough with these two.

So yeah.

Would you rather have Kristen with Hunky Mc Hunkerwitz?

Or that dude?

5) She's independent...

Ok I have to admit. We cannot make up her relationship life.

But who doesn't wish we could?!

Ahhh young love at it's peak.

Alrighty, well that's it for this 3am blog post ha ha ha.

Have a happy weekend :)

♥Jen

Welcome!

This is going to be an interesting blog. Hopefully, at least 2 people read this blog...that aren't my parents. I am in LOVE with: makeup, clothes, shoes, video games, music, TWILIGHT, and acting. Nothing gives me more joy than acting because it's just liberating being able to know that you can get out of your own life every once in a while. Reading is something I don't take lightly. Nor the internet. Specifically YouTube. Lord can I be on that website for HOURS!
Same for twitter. It's become me new myspace :D.

Oh and Charlie Chaplin owns.

Nuff said.

So does Stephenie Meyer. For giving us losers something to do in our well-too-known spare time. :)

♥ Jen